Archive for October, 2007

I was taking it easy this morning and indulging myself in some adoption-related blogs, when I came across a beautifully written entry by a single mother whose little girl was adopted from Guatemala http://wilmarket.wordpress.com/category/adoption/ . Her deep love for her child shone through every word, every phrase, and reminded me of the joy I feel in my adopted son.

In her blog, she brings up an issue that I find myself responding too quite often. She states: “Sure…I had questioned myself a couple of times…. if you really could have the maternal feelings for a child you did not birth. The answer to that question is undoubtedly YES! From that moment on we began a bond that has never stopped.” Nicely put.

As an adoptive mother, I am asked about this issue quite often in my day-to-day life, as well as in interviews, and it is epitomized by an instance thirteen years ago. A friend, who was having trouble conceiving for the second time asked, “But how do I know I will feel like the child is mine if I didn’t carry it?” “Trust me,” I answered, “you will. Consider your husband. He did not carry your daughter. He did not feel her move within his womb. He did not give birth to her. But, does he love her?” My friend’s eyes widened as she realized what I was saying. Yes, you CAN bond and love a child just as completely and passionately as you would a child you bore.

When asked “Do you ever wish you had a child of your own?” I inevitably answer, “But he is my own! Don’t believe me? Just mess with him!” Of course, this is always said with humor, but it drives home the point that my son is MY SON. He is my baby, my child, my love. No, I did not give him life; I gave him a life.


“I firmly believe that I have received the same child I was meant to receive whether I gave birth or adopted. The same soul, the same entity was meant to be mine from the beginning of time.”  Debra Shiveley Welch “A Very Special Child”

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