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Archive for February, 2015

Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,

it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

Albert Einstein

It’s Saturday again, and for many of us, that means cleaning day. The work week is over, Sunday looms near with its promise of reading the newspaper in bed, a big, Sunday dinner, church, perhaps a family outing. But on Saturday, we clean.

I find myself reflecting on my life, past and present, as I work my way through my home, and as I mop and sweep, dust and scrub, my mind goes to other things besides the purely physical effort of making a home – a home.

I’ve chosen a quote from Einstein because its philosophy has been the fulcrum of my life. First, growing up, being told that I couldn’t do this, couldn’t do that, was not so smart, pretty, and later as I raised my son and told him that he is intelligent, handsome, kind, sweet and everything a young man should be. I’m actually thankful for my childhood. It taught me how not to treat my son.

Being told that you are unworthy, stupid, unqualified will cause you to inadvertently fulfill the expectations of those who tell you so, whether they be parents, friends, teachers, bosses or whomever. Self-fulfilling prophecy can be devastating, as it seemingly reinforces that which has been told to you – unless it’s positive. Then the sky is the limit.

Mirroring, a kissing cousin to self-fulfilling prophesy, works the same way. As an example: you’re walking down the street and you see someone you know. You call out their name, they turn around and they recognize you. What does that first look on their face tell you? Are you sorry that you called out their name, or are you pleased with their look of pleasure as recognition sets in? That is mirroring.

So I thought I’d just put this out there today as I take a short break from cleaning bathrooms and mopping floors. It’s something to ponder, to turn over in our minds as concerns our relationships with those we know and love.

***

I am your mirror. When you look into my eyes,
you see how beautiful you are.
When you enter a room, my heart lifts up to meet you;
a smile of greeting lights me up from within.
I am your mirror. When you look into my eyes,
you see love, as my soul embraces yours,
revealing to you just how wonderful you are:
my friend, my heart, my son.

©2014 Debra Shiveley Welch

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Valentine’s Day approaches, and once again, you are in a quandary…what do I do? Flowers and a candle-lit dinner are nice, but there are other, equally romantic ways to set your Ladylove’s heart a-flutter.

Your sweetheart probably keeps the fridge stocked with all of your favorite items: beer, wine, your favorite ice cream. Place a few of her favorite foods on a prominent shelf the night before, with a bow to embellish the thought. P.S. …make sure you’ve tucked some wine away for the big day.

Giving flowers? Instead of making the grand entrance upon returning home, send them to her during the afternoon, perhaps with a note that says, “I can’t wait to be with you.” This way, when you arrive home for the evening, your arms are free to embrace her in a loving, warm hug.

Thinking of dining out? Make sure you understand what she wants to do with the day. She may have her own agenda. This is, after all, her time to show you how much she loves you.

Plan the day ahead of time. Clear your calendar from 5:00 p.m. on. The most important thing you can do to make your sweetheart feel loved, is to give her…you. At times we all feel like we are not heard or appreciated. Show her that you care about her opinions, her thoughts, her feelings. Give her your undivided attention on this special night.

Spoil her, intrigue her, listen to her and just…love her.

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