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Posts Tagged ‘babies’

Another birthday dawns, and I awaken to the sounds of ducks peeping and quacking, birds singing and splashing water. I stretch and rise, eager for the day: your special day – your birthday!

I dress and walk to the staircase. Breakfast and coffee must be prepared and I want to make sure that your presents are well-hidden, although you have a knack of finding even the most “cleverly” concealed gift. I put my hand on the rail and pause as memories sweep over me – memories of the time I stood at the top of these very stairs with you in my arms. It was 2:00 a.m., just twelve short hours since I first beheld your sweet face and breathed deeply of your unique scent. Twelve short hours since, with arms outstretched, I said to our attorney, “Give me my son!” and held you to me for the first time.

Twelve, short hours – you had awakened for your two o’clock feeding, and I leapt from my bed, eager to hold you once again. I gathered you up and started for the stairs. Something made me pause. I guess I just wanted to take a moment to once again look at you, savor the feel of your little body in my arms. I stood there, looking down at you, breathing you in once again. You arched your back as if reaching toward me, and I was lost.

Sixteen years have sped their course since that day. And yet, I can still feel the thrill that leapt through my heart at that particular moment of our bonding, of our truly becoming mother and son.

Memories race through my mind, like a slide show, embedded in my heart and sealed forever until the end of time: memories of adventures we have shared, cities we have explored … memories of raising you and the joy it has brought me.

Sweet love, you have placed my feet upon a path which I never want to leave. You have given me a gift far sweeter than I ever believed possible. You have made me a mother. More importantly, you have made me your mother.

I have watched you blossom and take on life’s challenges. I have witnessed your struggle to overcome your learning differences. And I have glowed with pride as you grew from babyhood to the incredible young man you are today. In my joy and pride, I can’t help but reflect on our journey as mother and son.

Sixteen years! To some it may seem like a long time, yet in twelve short hours, my heart was lost. And it still is. You have held my heart in your hand since that very moment. It’s a nice place to be.

 

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If you want to be a parent, you are a candidate for adoption.

It is a natural desire to wish to pro-create. Every living thing on earth replicates and creates young, whether it is a bird or a blade of grass. It is also natural to want to protect those who are already here.

Most of us have seen pictures or heard stories of a farm pig who suckles orphaned kittens, or the dog who allows an orphaned baby squirrel to suck. Then there is the elephant who, upon the death of a mother, will take the dead mother’s calf to herself to nurse. Adoption is a completely natural part of life and exists throughout the animal kingdom.

Some of us are not able to conceive or to give birth. The desire for children is strong, which is also a natural state of being. So, it would only be normal to open one’s arms and home to a child in need of a family.

I once had a friend say to me that she was afraid to adopt because she felt that the child would not be like her own because she did not carry it. I paused for a second and then replied, “I feel very sorry for your husband, then.” She looked at me with surprise and asked, “Why?” “Well,” I answered, “he did not carry your daughter. He didn’t feel her growing inside of his womb. So, I guess she must not feel like his child.” She understood.

The moment you hold your child in your arms, it doesn’t matter if you gave birth or not. What matters is that here is a new life, which is dependent upon you to survive. Here is a sweet baby, which will look to you for the rest of his or her life for love, guidance, support. Here is your child.

Many people want to adopt, but feel that they can’t afford it. There are children languishing in foster homes or orphanages praying, yearning for a family, for a home. They are considered special needs because they either have a physical problem, like my son who was born with cleft lip and palate, or are part of a sibling group, or are of mixed race or are older. Most states do not charge any fees for the adoption of these very special children. If therapies or surgeries are needed, the county will usually pay for them.

So, if you’ve spent all of your youth climbing that corporate ladder and don’t have time for an infant, or you have a good home, but not enough money to cover adoption fees, special needs adoption is a perfect way to build a loving, close family.

Whether you choose domestic, international or special needs adoption, be prepared for the greatest love of your life!

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I was taking it easy this morning and indulging myself in some adoption-related blogs, when I came across a beautifully written entry by a single mother whose little girl was adopted from Guatemala http://wilmarket.wordpress.com/category/adoption/ . Her deep love for her child shone through every word, every phrase, and reminded me of the joy I feel in my adopted son.

In her blog, she brings up an issue that I find myself responding too quite often. She states: “Sure…I had questioned myself a couple of times…. if you really could have the maternal feelings for a child you did not birth. The answer to that question is undoubtedly YES! From that moment on we began a bond that has never stopped.” Nicely put.

As an adoptive mother, I am asked about this issue quite often in my day-to-day life, as well as in interviews, and it is epitomized by an instance thirteen years ago. A friend, who was having trouble conceiving for the second time asked, “But how do I know I will feel like the child is mine if I didn’t carry it?” “Trust me,” I answered, “you will. Consider your husband. He did not carry your daughter. He did not feel her move within his womb. He did not give birth to her. But, does he love her?” My friend’s eyes widened as she realized what I was saying. Yes, you CAN bond and love a child just as completely and passionately as you would a child you bore.

When asked “Do you ever wish you had a child of your own?” I inevitably answer, “But he is my own! Don’t believe me? Just mess with him!” Of course, this is always said with humor, but it drives home the point that my son is MY SON. He is my baby, my child, my love. No, I did not give him life; I gave him a life.

 

“I firmly believe that I have received the same child I was meant to receive whether I gave birth or adopted. The same soul, the same entity was meant to be mine from the beginning of time.”  Debra Shiveley Welch “A Very Special Child”

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